"Top Ten McDonald's Excuses for the Condom in a Big Mac"

10. We were test-marketing the new "McTrojan"
9. Condom, condiment- what's the damn difference?
8. It still tastes better than the "Arch Deluxe" 7. It was either there or in the vanilla shake
6. Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true
5. We're experimenting with a new, even happier "Happy Meal"
4. So what- a regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway
3. Employees too embarassed to say "Would you like condoms with that?"
2. Drive-thru speaker broken- "Coke with lots of ice" sounded like "prophylactic device"
1. When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be too careful