VIETNAM VETERANS PAGE

8. This would have been a great photo of the guys jokin around, but I got in my way??

It's always fun to frost your own birthday cake..(19th). Everyone was patiently waiting.

10. First Sunday of the month meant it was time for a cold, well-water bath!!

11. Here I am at my night position bunker,..LZ Baldy.

...................12.Nose to the ground, and going hunting.

I had received an e-mail from a student not long ago, with questions about my time in Vietnam and what it was like, for a class project in his Social Studies class. (for other students looking for the same information) I answered him with this letter below .

Hello Brad:
My Name is Howard . I received your message yesterday about your questions on Vietnam, and will try to answer them for you the best that I can.

1.who are you?; My Name is Howard, I'm 50 years old. I live on a farm in Iowa and work also for a security company as well as run a shop here on the farm.

2.when were you in Vietnam?; I was (in country) as we would say, in 1969 . I was there only a short time as I had received wounds while on a search and destroy mission. I had been walking point (the first man in a long column) and had walked into an L shaped ambush that had been partially set (the North Vietnamese Regulars had not anticipated our arrival correctly). My first hint of trouble came as I walked to within 8 feet of a young (younger that I, I was 19 and figure the enemy soldier at 15 or 16) NVA soldier sitting on the ground with his back to me, in a pathway of a hedge row, his arms around his knees and rifle propped up resting against his left shoulder in a relaxed (taking a break) manner. He turned his head around and our eyes net at the same time. I would guess the terror in his eyes reflected my own. He looked to me as a fresh , new young, boy scout would look, as I could see the fresh creases in his nice new uniform shirt sleeves like it had just been ironed or pressed. Backing up and hunkering down to my knees I saw him turn also and disappear in the 20 inch high grass to his side. As we were in a controlled fire zone ( I could not shoot unless fired on) I held my rifle fire and screamed at the top of my lungs so as to warn the other soldiers behind me. (the next man in our column was about 50 feet behind me, and the rest behind him) At that moment I felt the gunfire heat, and burning powder grains as the NVA soldier opened up, his rifle fire parting the grass in which he was hiding, 10 feet away, shooting blindly over my head. My own rifle barked in reply on full auto as if it had a mind of it's own, towards the point blank target in the grass. While I could not see the enemy soldier directly, only his muzzle blast, he stopped firing. [I remember this as if it happened yesterday. ] I then came under heavy gunfire from individuals within the hedge row whom I could not see. Being pretty well pinned down and unable to rise to return fire, I started to arm and throw hand grenades into the bush. I might add that I was afraid of these things as I had watched old war movies on TV as a kid and watched soldiers toss grenades back and forth at one another till they would explode, I was afraid of one of my own grenades being tossed back at me. Pulling the pin and counting (one thousand-two thousand-three and so on) I then tossed them up and over at the NVA soldiers firing at me about 15 feet away. And as it would happen, I got hit in the right shoulder and chest as I was winding up like a national league pitcher getting ready to let off a fast ball, my grenade still in my right hand. The impact of the rifle bullets hitting me felt like enormous electrical shocks. I was thrown onto my back, lost my glasses, and screamed that I was hit. The first thing to occur to me was if my right arm and shoulder were still attached or if I had just lost them,I grabbed my right hand with my left, and bit hard into my right thumb and feeling my teeth sink in I knew my pitching arm was still attached. Other squad members were now moving up to lay machine gun fire on the enemy. One GI yelled at me to try to crawl toward him. Then I remembered that my own grenade had not yet gone off. My whole life then passed before my eyes as I saw Mom and Dad, brothers and sisters, relatives, and a girl friend, and visions of what they would think and how they would react when they got the news that I was dead. I saw visions of other people that I did not know yet. I starting to crawl towards the man that was pleading with me to move, and I felt a very hot heat come over me from somewhere and I suddenly grew very tired, I just wanted to sleep, to rest. I then remember someone half dragging, half carrying me back to safety. Although I didn't hear my grenade go off, the other men said I had been on top of it till the last instant. I was given a drink of water, as my mouth was full of sand and dirt, and a medic bandaged my chest, arm and shoulder. I had very small fragmentation wounds in my back and rear end. The other guys helped me walk to a (dust-off) helicopter and as we took off, we could hear the enemy open fire on the chopper with everything they had, trying to bring it down, and our boys returned fire on the enemy with equal ferocity. When I realized that we were out of danger, I cried, and then noticed that my trousers were wet with fear.
[I know now that, in the scheme of all things, it was not my desire to kill an enemy soldier that day, but simply to stop him from killing me or my friends, we did not want to be where we were, we just wanted to go home, to be safe. And.....I firmly believe my GOD saved my life that day, so long ago.]

3.What job did you do when in Vietnam?; I was a rifleman in the infantry, I carried an m-16 and at times an m-60 machine gun. Our company maintained our base perimeter on the west side of landing zone Baldy,over-looking the helicopter refuel pad. (this while not out on a search mission).

4.Where were you stationed?; I was in the upper part of the country , just south of the city of DaNang, Landing zone (LZ) Baldy was a fire support base for the big guns of the artillery,usually 105mm, that were used to support us ground troops while out on patrol, and as I said , the helicopters used the base to refuel and rest after missions. Baldy was just a few miles inland from the sea and to our west were the mountains. lowlands were all around ,full of rice paddies and highway 1 (the main north-south running road) passed along our east side if I remember right.

5.What experience left the greatest impression on you?; When I arrived in Vietnam, it was at the main air base at Cam Rhan Bay. Our group of men had arrived aboard a commercial American passenger jet , just like a bunch of tourists at any airport in the world. We even had beautiful civilian female stewardesses on the aircraft, who had served cold drinks and meals. After that long flight, we landed and pulled up to a stop near a group of what appeared to be military hangers, with no other civilian aircraft in sight, just fighter jets and other military gear. Everyone grew silent as we waited for our military escort to arrive outside on the deck, and a feeling bad things to come overtook us all. When the doors to out jet finally opened and the stair ramp was in place, we all rose in an orderly manner and headed for the door. I remember seeing a couple of the stewardesses crying, and as I exited the craft the overwhelming heat hit me in the face like a wall. We all said goodby to the (Girls) as we left and marched down the stairs. I knew then that this place,(VietNam) and this time of my life, (I was 18) would be the most difficult time and place I had ever known.............This left a great , if not terrible impression on me.

6.Was there anything that you enjoyed in Vietnam?; Yes, crazy as it may sound, I did find things to enjoy. First would be the beautiful white sand of the beaches, and Vietnam is an exotic and beautiful place, lush and green all over. In a lot of places the soil is poor but very red in color and it formed a pretty pattern when seen at a distance, all covered with the emerald green of the jungle. I enjoyed the music that the military DJ's played all the time on the radio, music just like we would have listened to at home, but most of all I enjoyed the friendship, all us young soldiers shared with one another, for the men I served with became like brothers, and we all cared for one another, as you would care for your own family.

7.What feelings did you have toward the Vietnamese?; This is kind of a hard one to nail down for you, but as a general rule of thumb, I didn't really get to know the Vietnamese people very well, I didn't really know what to think at first, I guess I felt sorry for them, living as most did in what I now would call a shed structure or barn here in the states. In any case they did not know, for the most part, what it was to have a home as nice as we had here in the states. The South Vietnamese Soldiers we worked with , well,.... we always had a squad of them with us on patrol and when ever the fighting would start, they would seem to high-tail it out of harms way and leave us G I's up front to battle it out with the bad guys on our own, so I never did hold them in high regard, at least the group we were with. On another note, the children were so sweet and dear, one could not help caring for the little ones. I remember a little girl that was always following me around. Both her parents had been killed, she lived with friends I would guess, and was about 6 or 7 years old. I called her Ling, and she was absolutely beautiful. She was being raised as a Catholic, and gave me a Crucifix and later just a day before I was wounded, gave me a Rosary of my very own. If it had been in my power, I would liked to have adopted her, to bring her back to the States with me, I know many G I's tried to do the same for the little ones they cared for. The last day I saw her, Ling had brought me some ice cold Cokes as a gift and I gave her a hug and kissed her cheek as we left........... I was wounded the next day and never saw her again.

8.How did you feel about the war before you went; The war in Vietnam was a long way away, always seemed to be on the horizon like a bad storm. I did find it hard to find a good full-time job as no one would hire a guy like me, destined to be gone soon to war. I was too busy, (I was only 18 ) dateing girls and going to the drive-in burger joint in my hot rod 57 Pontiac, listening to rock and roll, to busy to pay much attention to the war, other than worrying about my older brother who was already there, I didn't think of it much. I wasn't even sure why we had troops over there, and I just knew that ( I ) would never have to go there!........AS it turned out I was very wrong .

9.Did these feelings change when you returned?; Yes , my feelings did change. Although I had returned early due to the wounds I had, I felt as if I had been away for a thousand years. I was different somehow, Home was different somehow. MOM and DAD and family were the same, and the loving arms of my girl were the same , but I was different. Even the sunshine and white fluffy clouds in the blue sky looked different, new. It was like things were brighter ,and colors were more vivid and beautiful. My feeling towards the war changed in that I knew we could win, but would never win the war. I was so glad to be home, yet angry that the men I served with were still over there fighting everyday and I was to far away to help, I felt ashamed that I had gotten shot up , let the men down. They were still there and I was not, it didn't seem fair. They were my brothers, we would die for one another, we loved one another as brothers, It just didn't seem fair.

10.How do you feel about the war now?; Now?, my feelings are a real mix bag. I don't feel ashamed of getting wounded anymore. For sure, I feel darn lucky to be alive. I have to admit that I'm very angry that our politicians got us in to that no-win mess over there in the first place. We should have been allowed to win the thing. I'm very angry that so many good South Vietnamese men, women, and especially little children lot their lives fighting for freedom. I'M VERY angry that WE lost so many good young men, who would never , ever know the joys of life , of youth, of family and children or grand children of their own. I cannot help thinking that we all should have had our youth and innocence somehow restored , that we should have all been busy chasing girls and going to the drive in movie shows instead of what fate handed us. But in the same regard I'm very proud of my military service, for it is not so much our politicians that I served , but for my Country, and my US Constitution that I did serve, and do love, for I fought for my Brothers In Arms, and they for me, to win, and to live on. When I wear my uniform proudly, it is for my Brothers, my Unit, my Family, my Town, ..............my Country.

I hope this helps you with your class project and sheds some light on a war that must appear as old history to you. My best to you and your class.

Howard , Sgt. retired Infantryman Delta Company 2/1 196th Light Infantry Americal Division

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