Postcards from Nowhere

Tokyo

So I went to the Japanese restruarant. At first I was hesitant about having the cook being part of our meal, but overall it was a pleasent experience. The cost was reasonable, the food wonderful, the servings small. But overall I liked it, and I think I liked it more than my aunt.

I was hoping she was going to take me shopping afterwards but she didn't. That was a bit of a disappointment. I also had another disappointment the other day.

I though I would be going to the art district today, but it ends up I had the date of the Violet Island preformance off. It isn't until next Friday. So no fun today, but I am going tommorrow anyway.

Today I am going to work on a new spring look for here (the birds are singing outside, it's really nice, makes me want to clean) and work on my scholarships. So, everyone have a wonderful day and keep your chin up.

Originality

I've often wondered about originality. Can anything ever be original? When I was younger, and I suppose still now, I've always wanted to invent something. Become famous. Think of something new that everyone will want and become famous.

But then I remember- it is not the ones who do great deeds that are remembered. It is the ones who record them. That is why I am a writer.

words, words, wonderful words!

I recently have fallen in love with my page-a-day word calender. Everyday I get a new word to learn. Do you remember my hiakus? All of those included a word from my calender. Here are a couple more sentences using my new words.

My father is most definatly a luftmensch.

Although I may bloviate at times, it sometimes is utile.

Look 'em up, memorize them, learn something.

Oh, another tidbit- it was Shakespeare who gave us the word useful.

Wasting time can be rewarding

Just recently I picked up an issue of Rolling Stone magazine. I was just wasting some time in the library, waiting for things to come around. I figured it wouldn't hurt to read. [duh] I have to admit this is the first time I ever opened the cover of a Rolling Stones mag. I also have to admit that I really enjoyed it. I'm even buying this latest issue. The main reason being is this article: {click here}. (Note: it looks much better and interesting in the mag) So, I suggest you read it. I think it may have swung my vote.

Foot fetishes

Read my comment @ Null Session: The Shoe Shopping Shuffle

Slumpy

I'm back in one of my slumps. I don't feel like doing much. At least not anything construcive. All I want to do is have fun. Well, I suppose you could concider reading a book as constructive, but most people wouldn't. It was called Traplines by Eden Robinson. It's a dark book of short stories with no happy endings in sight. In fact, there really isn't any endings at all. When I first started reading it I thought the writing was terrible, but then I realized that it was in the first person narriative and it was written choppily because that is how the character would have told the story. Very smart of her. The stories each got better, but I have to saw the last one was not as good as the third (and longest) one. It is a different style of writing, but is really good. It is definatly suspensful like Hitchcock is. I didn't think I would have enjoyed the book as much as I did.

Next on the list is Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire. I hope to have it done by the Thursday after next. It's due back then.

Burning buildings, building souls

Yesterday, my dad tried to burn down the hoghouse. Well, he didn't actually try, but he did almost burn it down.

I've told him not to burn weeds and crap without pileing them up first, but does he listen? No. It's not the first time it has almost been burned down. The first time was by the previous owner of the farm. Luckily we don't keep hogs, I only had my pigeons in there. He pulled them out before getting the hose to put out the fire. The building isn't too much worse off than it was before.

I joined myspace at the recomendation of Ethan. If you are/become a member there, leave a comment and I'll tell you my e-mail address if you want it.

It is funny how we compulsivily join communities like this one. Is it a feeling of security if we have some person on the other end of the line learning about us, becomeing our friends? There must be some feeling we get from it.

Glad I didn't bet on the game

ISU lost to Texas, Leo's school. grrr..... and it was homecoming. grr...

Lately I have been too busy to go on Pan much, but quite frankly, I don't care. I don't know why, but it just has lost its flavor. Things like this happens to me quite a bit. I eventually come back on and am fine, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Maybe its because I haven't checked in for a week and nothing has happened. I don't need to check in every day, as I used to.

I enjoy having money. I've been able to buy clothees. I have been in desperate need of clothes. In the last week I've gotten a cute demim skirt, a sweater, a halloween tee, and a sexy top. Yesterday I had someone buy me a cute faux-leather purse and a cool green felt CD case for a present. I hate shopping with her so I find that I deserve it greatly. (Evil of me, huh?)

I still haven't gotten my digital camera, but I'm going to REALLY soon. I'm expecting my first check from Frontier on Friday. It should be about $400. That will be really nice. It won't be long until I have $1,000 in my check book. I've never had that much money.

Tommorrow is the last day I have my stupid ACT class. Have I mentioned that before? It's been going on for three weeks now. My mother signed me up without asking. I'll be glad when that is over.

Design has been getting hard. It's not that I can't complete the assignments; it's that I don't want to. It has lost its flavor. My life is becoming bland.

Stiff!

Well, I've started my new job. I like it, it's a pretty good job, not the best, but it is nice for the pay-off. What I am doing is boxing orders, pulling inventory off the shelves, and more boxing. (Although I may do some manufacturing soon.) So, this all entails a lot, and I mean A LOT of heavy lifting. I must lift at least twenty 50-60 pound boxes everynight, plus the other 75+ boxes I lift. Then there is the inventory pulling. That requires a lot of lifting and carrying, but I'm fine- except- yesterday. Yesterday I did extra work without getting paid.

I went to work with my mother in the morning because we only had one car for the day, so I figured I would catch up on my homework and then go to work. Well, that did not happen. She gave me away to "Computer Mike" to help him with the computer auction they're having. So, he said go to the storage room, take anything with a blue dot on it, up to the cafeteria. So, yeah, luckly my mom got me a cart, but anyway, I lifted 15 screens, 15 big huge towers, and an overflowing box of keyboards. So, I'm just about to take the last few screens when in comes Mike, "Yeah, sorry, Katie, but halfway through my meeting, I realised I didn't tell you not to take the towers. We still have to format those." GRRRR!!!! So, we went and brought back the towers, threw a couple out, and THEN, I relized- Mike's office is upstairs. And guess what, they don't have an elevator. I carried all those towers a FLIGHT OF STAIRS. Then we formated them. That was boring. THEN we carried them all DOWN the STAIRS and back to the cafeteria. THEN it was time for me to go to work, and I hadn't studied much for the test I took this morning. grrr...... So, I am stiff, I have been sick since sunday, and my sinuses hurt and I'm about to go back to work. So, I am signing off. I hope you guys all feel better than I do. Talk to you soon,
Kat

Oh, and I forgot. I wrote an article for the newspaper today. It was due Tuesday, but no one bothered to tell me. So, that will be published in a week. It should be on the internet a week from then. I'll put the link up when it is. They never did publish (on the net) the issue that my first photo was in... grr...

Hide the Eagle!

Thought I should say "hi". I haven't really been doing much interesting lately. Oh, wait, I did. It's sort of interesting if you like history or art.

Last Saturday the local art museum opened a new art exhibit. It is completly Roman. It was pretty cool. I went on the first day it opened, and for the opening they had a Roman Fair. They had a whole bunch of guys dressed up like Roman legionares. It was very interesting to see it all in person. They even had a catapult. It's the best one in the world for its size. It was a small thing, about ten feet high. It shot 4 pound rock/balls over 350 yards. They weren't shooting it off though because the park was in the middle of downtown. They didn't think it would be a good idea to shoot a missle into the hospital window two blocks away. I learned a whole bunch which will come in handy in my writing. I took some pictures that I'll put up once I get them developed.

So, besides that on Saturday, not much has happened. Time seems to be going really slow. This Friday I am leaving for Llamapoluza in Rochester, MN. It's a bit llama show I go to every year. I'm not taking any of my own llamas, but I might show for a friend. It should be fun. I even get to stay overnight in a hotel. I don't get to do that too often.

I have been working really hard to get the cursed 4-H record book done. It was due Sunday, but my leader knows it is going to be late. I'm going to turn it in Friday. Which is tommorrow. I just realized that. I'm going to Minnesota tommorrow! YEAH!!

School work has been bogging me down. I know I only have two classes, but they are both three credits each and have a lot of homework. My history teacher didn't even come until the class was half over today. We wanted to leave, but because it is a brodcasted class and they have the quizzes set at a specific time so the quiz-watching-teacher-people know when they're supposed to be there. Sooo... we were made to stay because we were going to take our quizzes at 8:30 no matter what. We had just gotten our quiz when Dr. Owen finally came in. He got lost. Duh, that town is so easy to find from Cedar Rapids. You only have to make one turn and that is it. The school is right on the same road you take north to get there. We ended up not getting any sort of lecture. I did start my paper though. That is good. So, yep, nothing of interest. If you have gotten this far reading this, wow, tell me, you deserve something special.

Talk to soon,
Kat

Home alone

This weekend has been enjoyable. I've had the house to myself since Friday. I've been mostly just screwing around, but I also done a bit of homework and housework too. The only problems are that there is no food! All we have is leftover chicken! And a TON of it! I'm sick of eating chicken! Thought you all might like to know what I've been up to. Not much, so that is why I am saying goodbye already. Talk to you soon. *smile*
Kat

A big sigh of relief!

Today I relized that I do not have a test in History on Tuesday. It is only a quiz. The test is a week from Tuesday. I can breath again. It was unbelievable that we were going to have a test so soon, good thing I was wrong.

My Financial Aide from my highschool still has not come through, so technically I have been going to all my classes illegially. LOL But I have bought all my books and materials with my own (read parents) money. It all cost $254 dollars. The school pays for $250 of it, so I should get that back soon.... as soon as my stupid school does the paper work!! Just another point in the vass entity that is Benton County. Argh, the make me angry at times, but I should calm down. At least it is said that I am approved, even if the system doesn't show it.

History was pretty good today, it was only an hour instead of two, which helps greatly. I already knew everything he said, but that was because I had read it in the textbook.

Design is up next in about an hour and fifteen minutes. We are actually going to start a project today, I believe. It is only two hours today, instead of three. I suppose I'll be spending the afternoon on the computer. I don't get picked up until 4:15, so that is three hours to play with. Fun, fun. Haha.

I'm going to go read some news, see you all soon. Same place, same time, same channel.
Kat

The history of human opinion is scarcely anything more than the history of human errors.
Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

Bored in between classes

I'm sitting in the computer lab at Kirkwood right now. I have Design next. It has been storming since last night. Constant thunder. A tree almost fell on my car. Yes, you read that right. If my car had been two inches longer or parked just two inches farther back, it would not have a back window right now. My dad figures that it is a bit scratched up in the back, but that is not all that big of a deal to me. The previous owner hit a deer with it, so there is a huge dent in it already, but it would not compare to the dent it would have had if the tree actually had fallen on it!

History was okay, you can't expect much from a first class. I sort of like my teacher. He's from Wales. The accent isn't thick, but you can hear it. He makes jokes once in a while, not the greatest, but at least he keeps it from being boring.

I can't type on this keyboard well, so I'm going to go. Class starts in half an hour... talk to you all soon.

Kat

I want to jump in front of a bus

No matter what I do people continue to either like me or dislike me. There is no changing them. It is a bit scary.

Have you ever had that feeling to just jump in front of a speeding car or to just turn the steeringwheel just a little bit so that you crash into the ditch or in front of a semi? I have, many times. It is not that I am depressed or want to kill myself, but that I want to take the risk. Taunt the line that separates us from the two worlds. To see what it is like. To know the feeling. To see that semi up close. To see if I could live through it.

Just dust in the wind

It has been different. The fair and home are two different worlds, and I deffinatly enjoy the fair better. Ever since I got in the car, everyone started fighting. They just don't understand.

My eighteenth birthday was pretty good. Saturday I got to show a llama for a friend and then Becky (my second mother/grandmother/mentor), her husband, and the family that I showed the llama for took me out to the Machine Shed restaurant. It was great. It was the first time the entire fair that I got to eat until I was full! Then the Grahms (who's llama it was) gave me one of those Willow Tree angels for a thank you and birthday gift.

Then on Sunday (my birthday) I got to show the llama again and got to spend the morning with Becky and everyone. Becky and I enjoyed our tradition, a tenderloin and curly fries. They didn't have any vinegar for the fries, but that was okay. Then in the afternoon I did my extemporanious speaking. That went really well, I think the judge really liked my speech. I think even both my bosses, plus my State Council advisor, were listening. One of my bosses really liked me. He is glad that I said I was coming back.

For birthday presents: well, my family never really gives me any, I don't really mind.... they did this year, I think my mom was feeling guilty. My brother gave me a really cute braclet with cats on it. Then the family gave me "The Book", that is not what it is actually called, but that is what my family calls it. It is a HUGE tome of a book that tells you how to do just about anything that you might run into on a farm. I already had a copy, but I lost it and plus this was a newer addition with websites. They ended up finding the old copy while I was gone, but that is okay, I'll probably take a copy of it when I move out. Then, my mom's friend Mary gave me a pair of $30 earrings that she let me pick out. I hate paying that much for a pair of earrings, but I need a nice pair. These are silver with little delicate flowers made out of mother of pearl.

I am also getting a credit card. My dad says that it is fine with him. I'm debating what I want to get on it... there are two choices that I like, the Leo zodiac one and the one with the cat... I can't decide. I'm not getting it right away. I'm waiting until I open my checking account when I get my check from working these last two weeks.

Anyway, I am sure that I have written too much for you guys to read in one sitting so, I'll leave it here. Have a nice day, I know I won't.

Kat

Oh, and in conclusion to the boxer story. He did offer to pay me finally, but I didn't want any ice cream at the time. I went and told him goodbye right before leaving. It is a bit funny... I went to the guys side and knocked on the door, no one answered so I opened it a bit, and there he was laying in bed with nothing on except the golf-ball boxers that I had washed for him.... I yelled at him to come to the door, but he didn't so I shut it, pounded on it some more, then another guy came to it. I don't think he had been wearing anything either! LOL So he comes to the door, I tell him to get boxer-boy, he doesn't because he is wandering over pulling a shirt on. Of course I tease him a bit. I think he was going to go buy me that ice cream dressed like that! I tell them I'll miss them and demand a hug. Of course they comply. The first one was a bit half-ass, but that might just be how he hugs. Then boxer-boy gave me a real hug. It was nice. I know now that there are no hard feelings. I can't wait until I can see them again. Plus seeing those boxers again would be a bit fun....

One more thing... I found out that the llama guy that boxer-boy wanted me to go out with, is actually the same age as I am. He's going to ISU this fall. Hmm... I know this is really mean of me to say this, but now that I know that he is the same age as me, he looks a lot better!

This wasteland of me

It has felt like a lifetime.... it is going to be so different going home. I don't want to, but I don't want to stay here. It is just so... oh, I hate it when I am lost for words, but one that comes to mind is exhausting.

Well, all the boxers are gone. He never paid me, and he has been avoiding me. He stole the cell phone of a girl and told her to get it back she had to steal the boxers from me. AND I had just returned his shirts to him that night so all I am left with is a blue sock that I am not sure if it is his. The girl says that she is going to kick his butt if he doesn't pay me, but I'm not sure. Since last night she has two reasons to do it. One- because he owes me money, Two- because a whole bunch of people went dancing and she says that he started humping her while they were dancing. Now, I can't see this guy doing this, but something is getting to him so he's not exactly been himself lately.... this fair he has decided to go "cowboy", which would be really great if he wasn't a bit short.... LOL

OH! And yesterday I was sitting with him trying to get him to pay me when this guy that I sort of know came up to me and interupted us. After he left, the boxer-guy told me that I should go out with him that night! Man, boy! (Okay, that is a little ironic saying that....) Anyway, Boxer-boy has gotten it in his head that I have a crush on him or something!!!! It is riduculous! I have the feeling that the guy that did come talk to me has a crush on me, but I certainly don't. He is way too young for me.... I don't know... there just isn't the connection, you know....

Anyway, I am ready for fair to end, but I am not ready to go back to my old-pre-fair-life. I really hope to get a good job and start taking some classes when I get back. It is time for change. I have loved doing this, I really like working, but I just do not like the work that I have to do at home. It just is not me. For the past few months I have really wanted to be a writer, but I have found that photography may just be more of my thing. I have greatly enjoyed it. The State Fair photography is awesome, but yet so simple. I cannot wait until I get my wages and can buy a camera. There are so many things I want to take pictures of. Wow. Well, I get the afternoon off, so I am going to enjoy the fair, it will probably be Monday or later next time I'm on here, so have a good weekend and enjoy,

Kate

It's time for change

I am going to be redoing the front page of this. The one up right now is just temporary. It might be up for a month or so... it all depends on if I get the new one done by the time I leave for the State Fair. I don't like it completely, but I don't want to put any more time and effort into it.

It is funny how my father can wrap and twist every problem so it is someone else's fault.

Purple Pandas are NOT Dancing on the Shore

The suit didn't come.... bummer. So my brother will not be being a panda this weekend. He does still get to hang out with Mr. McFeely though...

I had about the longest day of my life today! I went to work with my mother today. It was about the most "challenging" (her words) day she has ever had. She had a person quit, a person almost get fired... lol, it was hectic and I was there the entire time.

When they were having private meetings, I shedded paper. I eventually ran out of paper... I shreded about twenty pounds of paper.... at least. When they weren't having private meetings, I read.

I've been reading MacBeth. I LOVE it EVEN MORE!!! It is so great. I really want to do it for my winter senior production, but I don't know if my actors can handle it... I've never met them so it is tough to say. If I do do it, and if I am going to act in it, I want to play Lady MacRoth. Her part is small and lovely, plus I get to scream bloody "murder". Litteraly, she screams "murder!".

My "teacher" wants to do 'The Miracle Worker". To use a Shakespearian term- BARF! Yes, the term was coined by Shakespeare....

Anyway, I'm running out of things to say, sooo
bye for now!
K

Americans are fat

Since I was up, I figured I might as rant to you for a bit.

Americans are fat. It is disgusting. It is fine if adults want to kill themselves, but they should be making their children eat correctly and get exercise. Plus I think the tee-shirt companies are enlarging their sizes! A large used to fit me like a glove, but now they are too huge! All of the tees I have gotten this summer, and it is many, are too large for me! I hate it! I don't like swimming in my shirt out of water!!

Stupid modem

My modem was dead for three days, but in the long run. It was good that it did.

I finally unpacked from moving here three years ago. I finally have a room. I've been spending a TON of time in there. Mostly studying. In the past three days I have gotten six tests done. Plus one more today, and more than two halves of two more! So I am doing well in that department!

I haven't really had any more dreams that I remember. I know I had a couple this morning. All I remember though is black socks and a yellow submarine. I tried looking them up, but it didn't really say much.
I didn't sleep too well last night. We had some loud thunder rumbling.

Well, I'm going to go read.
K

Okay, it's 8:26 now,
I forgot to tell you all about my Independence Day! It was good. I thought I would have to work, but I didn't. I spent most of my time on the computer. Then in the evening my mom, bro, and I went to see fireworks.

They were pretty good. My only complaints are the bugs and the rascals. The kids are too annoying and excited. Of course, my kids aren't going to be that way... I know you are rolling your eyes! But come on people! If you can't control your kids, then don't have them! I love some children, but some! ARGH!!! Then in the gas station parking lot later.... woman, you have too many children if you can't prevent your children from almost getting run over by a car, you have TOO many! She had three children with her. I know that is not a lot, but she should have had them a bit farther apart so that the older ones help with the younger ones... these all must have been about ten months apart and she didn't look much older than 28. That is how it is around here.

It is a disgrace. It seems the only way people get married is if they've gotten pregnant. Plus, to top it off, they do this when they are 18! Then of course they get divorced a few months later. Then get pregnant and married again. They are so stupid.

Okay, that is all for now. I might just have to pick this topic up again...

laziness

Today, and the few days before, I have not really felt like doing things. I've been sleeping on the couch to wake up watching the boob-tube in the morning. I sit there, telling myself, you need to get up. You need to get up. I just wish that I did not have to do anything. This morning I felt like just getting in the car and going somewhere. Somewhere I haven't ever gone. Maybe even all the way to Canada. Go visit some people I know. I just wish that my schooling was done and that I had no family or farm responsibilities.

I have been doing stuff even though I haven't felt like it. I'm almost done with another test in Civics, I've worked in the garden (planting stuff for my dad so that the weeds can come up and kill it), I've actually cooked a halfway real meal last night, and well... okay besides those few things I haven't done anything. But it isn't like I've been just sitting at the computer or TV all day. I have gone through days like that.

It is that "time of the month" so I get a bit nutty sometimes. Just lazy. It might be iron defficenty, but I've been eating a ton of ceral with iron in it. I don't know.. maybe it is "senioritis" or something like that...

I found a new blog today. His name is tenkai. The link is on the list.

I have been going through my teenage rebellion stage now. I know I'm a little late, but since when was I normal? I guess rebellion is the wrong term. Realization of who I really am is the better one. I am trying to be true to myself and care less of what people think of me. I enjoy hanging out with "freaks". Sure, I'm a goody-two shoes, but I can still party like there is no tommorrow. People don't take the time to get to know me. I try to get to know them.

I am hoping to show Eddie this on Monday. He's a guy from 4-H that I'm quite sure does not like me all that much. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, but people like him. We are driving about four hours to go to a conference together. People at 4-H precieve me as shy and I think not easy to get along with. While I'm the opposite. I'm just not comfortable around their ego-tistic minds and bodies. I am an out-going, artistic, friendly, original person.

I am even going by Kat at this shing-dig. I have never gone by that name in public except this year at camp. The kids loved that my name was that. I am going to be myself. It doesn't matter if they don't like me. They live in another state and I will most likely never see them again. If they like me, they'll remember me. If they don't, they don't.

More ramblings...

It is amazing how things can change when you leave the arms of your parents' home. I have not done this yet, but I can almost feel it. I have done things alone. I have walked in a crowd alone. I have sat through a meal, alone. I have gone places, alone. I don't think I've quite experienced it though because I never quite feel content being alone. I do not enjoy only my own company. I cannot walk down the street without wishing that someone else was there.
I wonder if that feeling does ever go away. Lashlar thinks so.

At camp I was sitting with some of the girls. They were thirteen and forteen. I know that my age is nearly eighteen years now, but to be with those girls I feel that I have not grown much over the last five years. When I was thirteen, I was acting like I was seventeen or older. Now, I do feel that I have grown, I know I have, but still- I feel like I have not. It seems that the days have ticked by day after day, but never collecting into growth. It all started when I moved and started homeschooling. I feel like I am forteen years old. I don't feel any different even though I am in my eighteenth year of existance. I told my mother this, and she said, "Oh?". It was that worried tone of voice.

I've also noticed that I've started flirting with boys more now. Suttle, but still there. I even halfway flirted with some of the campers. It was never anything serious, but it was the same kind of comment I would say to someone my own age or older if I was flirting with them. I hardly ever try to rearrange things only so that I'll be around boys. I do things that is the best for me.
I have tried to rearrange things because of boys though, I am not a saint. It has to be the right boy for me to do it. I suppose I really am getting older and my hormones are telling me to find a mate. Sometimes I can't belive the lines that come out of my mouth.

Some of the girls in my cabin said that I look like Christina Ricci. They also found it a bit creepy that she played a girl named Kat in the Casper movie, and that I go by Kat too. LOL I guess I sort of do look like her, but my dad says I don't. My cheeks need to be a bit more "apple like". If I lost some weight I would look more like her.

Viewing the world in different lights really helps it come either clear or even more muddied.

Until later,
Kath

the feeling of Hestia

I have not felt like spending time at the computer lately. Just have not. And it's bad because I have a couple things to do before the end of the month, which means by Friday because I'll be busy all weekend.

Why I chose Hestia is because I've always thought of her as a morose person. Just a reed in the wind, swaying, not fighting back. I've felt a bit like that. Just letting life come as it does...

I've been thinking of that andredline/ poetry thing... could good poetry be addictive? Should we be getting out the patches of some non-sense writing to strap to ourselves?

Until next time, don't know when...
Kat

Lying

When I tell a person that I have busy, I really have not. It seems that I have, but when I really step back and look I see that I really did not complete much. If I get one real job done in a day it is a miracle. Last night I told myself I would get two test done in Social Civics today. Did I? NO! I tell myself something to this extent everyday. I never complete what I went out to do.

This weekend I was "busy". I am going to think of what I did.
Saturday
Did a little gardening. A LITTLE
Sunday
Went to grandma's
Went shopping for plants and groceries
More gardening

Sunday was the busier of the two. I feel like I have not been doing anything. I am not getting anything done. I am going to stop writing this. I am going to finish my civic's lesson. Maybe I will take the test tonight. Maybe, for there always is tomorrow...

K

My day

I spent today at work with my mumsy today again. With Eric this time though. He is annoying. So I got up at six today, only four hours of sleep last night. She had us take some bunnies to the daycare and share them. The kids really liked them. After lunch, which was sphagetti, chix pizza, potato w/ brocholi cheeze, and salad bar (marinade artichoke hearts, olive, greens, cucumbers, madarin oranges...) {We shared all of that.} we went and dug some more plants up. I'm not quite sure what I got, but they look good. After that we went to Amana, and did a little browsing. I even visited my old bosses shop. What a pain! She tried to sell me a $32 hat right off the bat. She says that she'll give me a local's discount. Yeah right. That means about two bucks. Woo-hoo. I do really like the hat, but I think I can get a better one for less.

I am really hoping to go to Hobi days in Cedar Rapids this weekend. It is the czech morel mushroom festival they have every spring. I've been craving mushrooms lately. I've never had morels....

Well, I'm TIRED! So until next time,
K

unemotional

I have not been spending much time on the computer. As you may have noticed. I just have not felt like sitting here. I've been doing a bit of work outside and watching more TV than normal. I just have not been feeling like doing much. My brain is not working.

My e-mail is not working. It will not let me log in. It thinks that my cookies are set off.

I've just been floating day to day. Floating on the jet stream... floating. I have been getting worried about things at night again. It almost keeps me from sleeping. I am scared. I am just unemotional. Blank. Blah. Nothing.

Until next time,
Katherine

We have sheep!

You know that line in 'Twister'? "We have cows"... well, just until recently we've been having inch large hail and tornados... my dad was looking at the radar on the computer and every once in a while a sheep would fall from the top of the screen... like it was raining sheep...it was funny... I guess you just had to be there.. lol

We had a couple tornados near us. One only a few miles north. It supposedly hit the farm that I get hay from...

Boy, it is 7:15 already! Yikes! I spent the day with my dad shopping. We got a some plants... Mother's day presents... I better not list them. She might be reading... He spent a ton of money... ugh... will he ever learn? He complains that my mom teaches credit cards like they're cash, if you ask me, he does it worse.

One of the kittens died. It was expected. One of the yellow ones. She can't handle more than six.

I'm going to start a new entry.
To be continued. Same station. Same time. In a few minutes. After this commercial break.

K

I got bored...

What Sort of Romantic Are You?
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You're a Romantic Realist. That's quite a paradox, but a good one. You can appreciate love and all things related to romance, but you do it without getting caught up in the commercialized mess. You've got a good head on your shoulders, for the most part.

Suicide Prevention Week and Kittens! and a large sigh

I had no idea that it was suicide prevention week when I wrote that last post. That was quite the coinicidence! LOL

Rosie, my basketball-shaped cat, is no longer so big, for she has had 7 kittens! She always has a ton. All are yellow, like her, and two are stiped black, like the suspected daddy. She might have another one or two. I'll tell you if she does.

I've been really moody lately... probably because of politics over a novel I'm in at Pan... mud has been flying... It seems to have calmed down now, but there are injuries...

*large sigh*
Anon,
K

Confused, Tired, and just plain messed up

Today I recieved three large notes in my box. I rather not talk about two of them. But the third was a nice one. I recieved two pannickles from one of our blessed editors over at Pan. The best thing that has ever happened to me I think. I had only had a short conversation with him last night, and today he sent them to me. So that is nice, but the other two messages are confusing my emotions.

The conference today was good. The food was good as expected. Chinese buffet. Yum! My first workshop ended up being a bummer because it was the exact workshop I had done at the last conference I went to a while ago. In the afternoon I had to give a double workshop with one of my fellow state 4-H council members and my council advisor, which up until later this afternoon I thought hated my guts. I had my doubts for the workshop. We had not gotten together really to plan it, but my leader advisor had had it all planned out well so we each just chose an activity and did it. It went well and many people liked it. It was about youth/adult partnerships. People said that they learned a lot, and I think that they really did.

After the conference my bro and mother took me to this tiny little shop in campus town that is a fiber shop run by a tiny little woman. She seemed very nice, but shy. It was quant. After that we went to Hickory Park restaurant. I had a really good smoked pulled-meat sandwich with fries. It is a great place. Cheap, fun, relaxed. My brother and I eat got a sandwich. I was stuffed, but my mom had only applesauce so she and my brother split a sunday. The whole thing came to $12.61 plus tip. So good dinner-cheap.

I have been so blessed by people at Pan. They are the best people in the world. I'm not going to get into it right now. I'm tired.
Until later, anon,
Katherine

Words

I love words. I love the look of black words upon white pages. It is just so graceful. I think I have to do something for a career related to words. Not necessarily a writer, but maybe a book binder... or a book cover design artist. Not the art on it, but the design. You know, the text and picture on the cover. Books are judged by their covers so you have to have good design on it. Today I made a little tiny book. It is the size of a quarter page. It doesn't look very good. It's also not finished. It needs a cover. I just felt like doing something. Maybe later I'll make another one. A better one. I'm going to read a bit.

Back, I read a tiny bit of someone's blog. He is so intelligent. Unfortunatly he stopped blogging the first day I found him. He said, "I no longer feel I can write what I want or need to write. It was an experiment that has come to an end. A half-failure/half-success. A beaker bubbling over with mixed results." He seems to be Vegan. I have thought of becoming a vegetarian many times before. I've tried, but at times I crave a good bloody steak or crispy burnt hamburger. I just don't think about the animal when I eat it. I am a carnavore. That is how I'm supposed to think. Continued in the extension.
NOTE: You may not want to read the extended entry. It is quite graphic.

Tonight, in fact, we are eating rabbit. One of those that we raised. Rabbit is quite good, but again, I just cannot think about it while eating. I used to have to put the little noose around his neck right before my dad would bluggen them to death with a hammer. They scream when they die. The sound that you would think a babe would make if you were killing them. It is chilling. I have never had to watch it though. I would put it on, have my dad hold it, until I was far away. I would run down the hill with my hands over my ears, humming or singing so I did not have to hear it. The hammer does not kill them. It just stuns them. They bleed at the ears and nose, and then my dad cuts their heads off.

The first time we ever ate one of our own animals was when a friend of the family's came over. She and her husband butchered some chickens for us. My mom and I helped her pluck them. Then we barbequed them. They were very tasty. The next morning I went out to the chicken house to feed the hens. There in the grass were the four heads of the roosters we had eaten. Their beaks were open, and their eyes were gone because the fly maggots had eaten them. I had just about stepped on them. It was disgusting.
That was about 2 years ago. I've seen many things since then. I've gutted chickens with my bare hands. I've even lived through a war, but still when I find chicken heads in the grass my heart pounds.

Same old, same old

Another boring day. I tried studying a bit today. Too bored to even do that. It is grey outside. And damp. We're thinking of going to the movie tonight. We haven't gotten orders for a while. It is just boring.

I put a new feature on here. Look over to the left. See the little face. That is how I'm feeling. Isn't that nice?

Anon,
K

Oph!

Today I spent celebrating one of my aunts' birthday. That means she spends money on her sisters, two of her friends, and me. First we went to brunch. That was nice. Except it is hard being all cheerful when you don't feel like it. Then we went shopping. When I go shopping with my aunt it is a nightmare. She loves to buy things for me, but I have to be tortured first. The biggest problem is when she complains that their isn't a size smaller than extra-small while I'm trying to make a extra large fit. She's super thin. And it's not like I'm fat, and she's antorexic. She exercises 6-10 hours a day. And I'm just well.... big boned... LOL She not really my aunt in anyway except that she happened to be adopted by the same couple that adopted my mother. In fact my aunt is Korean! So she's small by nature. While I had to be born into a nice, large German family. But I do have one thing that is nice having my father's genes. My hair is thick. So thick that it has to be two feet long for me to be able to put it into a ponytail. I love my hair. But I'm boring you all... LOL but thanks for reading.

Oh, and I suppose that you want to know what I got. I got a pair of shoes. Oh, SHOES! I drifted off and forgot to tell you more about my aunt. She LOVES shoes. Her shoe closet is as big as half of my room. And I don't have a small room! It holds something like 250 shoe boxes on one side. She uses the other side for dresses. LOTS of dresses. If my aunt didn't give away three pairs of shoes to my mom everytime she saw her, my aunt's house would be full of her shoes. It is rediculous! Unfortantly my German genes prevented me from having the same size feet, so I don't get any of these shoes.... I have umm... six pairs of shoes (unless you count flip-flops. Then I have nine.) One pair of strapy fancy shoes, two pairs of sneakers, one pair of chunky dress shoes... oh, forget it! I'm boring you.... plus I'm boring myself...

I've decided to start exercising more. I want to be able to easily fit a size medium. That is only one size down. It won't be too hard. It would be nice if I had some encouraging words in the comment box... hint hint.... Just click the link at the bottom of this entry....

Well, almost 10!
K

"Only in growth, reform, and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be found." - Anne Morrow Lindburg (born 1906) American writer, poet, and aviator

My day

Just got back from shopping, it was fun, it was boring, it was uneventful. I didn't buy anything for myself, yet I spent twenty dollars. At least I'll get it back... I was lending it. I got castration bands, so watch out boys! Wahaha! I'm armed! I also got plants. Tomatoes (oh, I've been craving tomatoes. I always do at this time of the year) peppers, a couple flowers, thyme, pine trees... Then I also got groceries. That's about it. That is about all I got. My mom and brother got about 10 dollars worth in beads. Talk about a money waster! LOL

I'm starting a new thing, my entries are getting too long, so to read the rest click on the link below here.

I was going to go to X-men II with my family, but then I relized that it's going to be at the local theater until the 17th so I decided to go a better night. It's nice having a theater that only charges 3 bucks for a movie. If I go into the city to see it, it costs more than it would to buy it on DVD. And that's just for the tickets! We never buy snacks anyway... lol too overpriced! At least we don't sneak it in though. I know a person that does that. I always feel so embaresed. She even sneaks in cans of generic brand pop in her purse. What a penny pincher! LOL My dad says that I am one. I just think that I'm not wasteful or foolish with my money.

Now, my dad wants to go burn weeds... *sigh and eyes rolling*

Until later if I don't get burned to a crisp...
K

Howdy!

Reminder- don't forget the comment option, plus don't forget to tell me if you prefer white or red backgrounds. (See below)

Well, my bro and father seem to love the little sheep wandering around the screen so I guess they're here to stay...

My dad seems to be making me work all day today because he didn't yesterday... oh, well... *sigh*

Ohp! He's coming in!
Bye!
K