It's that time of the month again. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Theist Quote of the Month contest for July of 1999,
with eleven votes . . .

HERETIC HUNTER!!
"The Lord Jeohvah createth original sin so that he could punish sinners in hell for all eternity. If God hath not createth original sin man would have no need of hell."

HH has not appeared in a.a. since that quote appeared -- this just goes to show that trolls really ARE a good source of amusement. :o) Indeed, some thought that this quote was actually satire, written by an atheist . . . and even now, I'm not 100% sure that it's not . . .

EJ, to nobody's surprise, came in a VERY close second, with ten votes. Tim Wang and Brent Jablonski, with five votes apiece, share third place. Thanks to all who participated!
Here is the voting record, along with a few comments of my own.

--1--
"look at the queen ant and you will see God in action. The queen ant is like God in a way with all the ants working to keep her alive."
Written by patmine@aol.com
Nominated by Jack Thornton, seconded by John Hattan

VOTES: 4
John Hattan
Drake
Nemo
Vermic
[As one particular wit on the newsgroup noted, if theism is like a queen ant, all we need is Sigourney Weaver and an airlock . . . -QM]

* * * *
--2--
"There is no logical knot that you can tie that my faith (if reason fails) cannot cut through."
Written by Brent Jablonski

Nominated by David G. Dick, seconded by Robert Chapman

VOTES: 5
Aaron Spielman
HR GrŁemm
Sen
Angelico
Dave Fried

[Interestingly, this quote agrees with most of what the atheist says. Brent says that no matter what anyone says, he will have faith. Since faith is belief in something without -- or even despite -- reasons and evidence, what Brent is really saying is that no matter what anyone says, he will have no reason to believe in God. Couldn't have said it better myself! -QM]

* * * *
--3--
"But living forever is not eternal life."
Written by Teresita

Nominated by Bill Felton, seconded by Puck Greenman

VOTES: 4
Jeff Heidman
Decimal
raven1
Diem Marshall

[This statement has since been retracted by Teresita, and she requests that she no longer be nominated for TQOTM. I don't know whether she intends to keep posting in a.a. -QM]

* * * *
--4--
(In response to:)
> Translation: "If Hitler does it, it's bad, if God does it, it's ok."
"Now, you've finally got one....partly right. Still, not a good batting average."
Written by Cory Collins

Nominated by Petteri Sulonen, seconded by Fish

VOTES: 2
Scott Davidson
Peter Kelley

* * * *
--5--
"The Lord Jeohvah createth original sin so that he could punish sinners in hell for all eternity. If God hath not createth original sin man would have no need of hell."
Verily, Heretic Hunter hath written it.

Nominated by Dave Holloway, seconded by John Popelish

VOTES: 11
Chani
Michelle Martin
Frank Wustner
Fish
Elroy Willis
Czar
Adam Gurno
Mickey Malkin
Tom Murray
Liz
Nilone

[Pretzel logic, moral obscenity, and Elizabethan English . . . what more could you ask for? -QM]

* * * *
--6--
"[S]alvation is through God's grace alone, but works are required."
Written by Tim Wang

Nominated by Petteri Sulonen, seconded by CTTheGreat

VOTES: 5
DJ Nozem
Yang Hu
Ed Stoebenau
Tukla Ratte
Dave Holloway

[I wonder if he meant to say that Salvation is through works alone, but God's grace is required. It's easy to get confused. Compare Galatians 2:16 with James 2:24. -QM]

* * * *
--7--
"Then laws will have to be passed to keep the population up by forcing men to have sex with women at least once a month (preferably their own wives)."
Written by Daniel Pflager
Nominated by Elroy Willis, seconded by Brian Hartman

VOTES: 2
Elf Sternberg
Tom Stoudt

* * * *
--8--
"Hitler was doing God's will that's what makes it good."
Written by ej
Nominated by Therion Ware, seconded by Carl Funk

VOTES: 10
Tim Schultz
Petteri Sulonen
Karl Taylor
Mike
Mark Bilbo
The Central Scrutinizer
Keith Brannen
Carl Funk
Landis D. Ragon
Charles R. Ward

[Also nominated for the "Most Frightening Fundie Attitude" award -- ej won that a looong time ago, if you ask me, but I use Quotemeister's discretion to award it to him anyway. -QM]

Quotemeister Dave