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Quotes of the Month

The Theist quotes

I'm still waiting for comments/suggestions

Each month in the Usenet newsgroup alt.atheism, quotes are nominated and voted on, to find the best (or worst), wisest (or not), examples of theist and atheist thought posted in the past month.

Anyway, it gives me great pleasure to announce the final AQOTM winner of the pseudomillenium, with a whopping 18 votes . . .


December announce post

"I think that naming your ignorance God and pretending that, having named it, you have converted ignorance to knowledge is a sorry approach to the unknown."

Written by John Popelish

Nominated by Tony Livernois, seconded by Liz

Congratulations to John! Nobody else really even came close . . . second place goes to both Chibiabos and Doug Schiffer, with seven votes apiece. Congrats to all our nominees. Here is the voting record. Be sure to join me for the December 2000 contest, the last month of the REAL millenium!

And now, the results of the AQOTM voting for November . . . once again, we have a tie! Help me congratulate, with 10 votes apiece,


November announce post

"True Christians know that melted popsicles violate the 2nd Law. If you just have faith in God your popsicles will never melt. Atheists' popsicles will always be in danger of melting because they have to follow their God of science which allows their popsicles to melt because they mock God and he will not keep them from melting into a big gooey mess in the trunk of their car and if you would only realize the truth that is right before your eyes you would understand that God doesn't want your popsicles to melt but He has given you free will so you have to end up with melted popsicles or else you must believe in Him and then you will have frozen popsicles in Heaven forever and your old dog, Sparky will be there and Grandma and Uncle Jebediah with his whole leg back in place and everything."

Written by Mike Dahlke

Nominated by Jeff Heidman, seconded by Panama Floyd

"This ultimately comes down to the insanely supreme arrogance of religious thinking: that a carbon-based bag of mostly water on a speck of iron-silicate dust around a boring dwarf star in a minor galaxy in an underpopulated local group of galaxies in an unfashipnable suburb of a supercluster would look up at the sky and declare 'It was all made so that I could exist!'"

Written by Peter Walker

Nominated by Bartman, seconded by Chris Izzo

Congratulations to both of them! Alt.atheism, incidentally, acknowledges Peter's debt to Douglas Adams for his quote, since Peter didn't do it himself. :oP A close second place goes to Liz, with 8 votes. Yay!

This is incredible . . . well, interesting, at the very least. This is the first time since I've been quotemeister -- possibly the first time EVER -- that every single one of the AQOTM nominations for a given month has received at least one vote. I'm not sure what that says about the contest . . . any ideas? :o)

As is frequently the case, it was a close call this month! It is my honor to present the winner of the Atheist Quote of the Month contest for October, with ten votes . . .

October winner announce post

"The elevation of PRIDE to the status of a sin was not a happenstance in Catholic theology, but rather a cold blooded calculated move that was necessary to enable the Church to control people. In order to bind them to Church authority, first it had to deprive them of their self respect."

Quote of the Month contest for September, with ten votes . . .

September winner announce post
"Perhaps atheists will spend a lot less time talking about god when we have our own meeting places on every other corner, when our organizations are tax-exempt, when our slogans are printed on your money, when we elect a president (or any other leader) who understands science, when those idiotic little fish disappear, when organ donor cards no longer have a blank space for religion, when holidays commemorate great ideas instead of mythological beings, when newspapers devote a weekly section to atheism, when people stop saying "God bless you" every time we sneeze, when we open a motel room drawer and find a copy of Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History Of Time", when pimple-faced kids stop coming to our houses on Saturday mornings to 'save' us, when...."

Tied for first place with 8 votes apiece,
please congratulate our August winners . . .

August winner announce post
"My intensive study of the subject has led to the following conclusion. There can't be more than one christian. Everybody else will go to hell. When that christian dies he will go to heaven and his first duty will be to have a Long talk with god. There is some very slight possibility that he will let god stay."
Written by Michael Painter

"I take a strong interest in religion because it is an evil and destructive presence in society. It promotes ignorance as the highest truth, and blind obediance to what your church tells you as the highest virtue. It preaches guilt for thought-crime, condemns people for healthy, normal activities, and murders those that hold different beliefs. It cripples the mind, oppresses the soul, and enslaves the body."
Written by 'Than

It gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of the
Atheist Quote of the Month contest for July of 1999, with
twelve votes . . .
July winner announce post
"(a) I do not attend church regularly because (b) I already found "God." But "God" isn't what you think it is. "God" is a screaming child in Ethiopia whose kidneys have shut down and is about to die from starvation. "God" is a dumpster in Vatican City where urchans (just as in every city in the world) feed on refuse, while the wealthiest and most powerful social organization in the world decadently spends its money just a few blocks away on big hats, gold crosses and silver chalices and continuing to exploit the poorest people in the world in "God's" name. "God" is hate, "God" is stupidity, "God" is the scum on the bottom of your shoe. "God" is not pretty and "God" does not care. I found my "God," then I killed it. I, an atheist, know more about "God" than any Christian will ever know."
Written by Sarcen

Nominated by Werail, seconded by Freder

I'm not sure whether Sarcen is a regular here in A.A., but I hope that he becomes one, at any rate. I have the feeling he has a lot to contribute here. :o)

Atheist Quote of the Month contest for May/June of 1999,
with nine votes . . .
Next LIZ!!!
May/Jume winner announce post
"No one disputes the origins of manufactured items. There isn't a being who proclaims, "Let there be airplanes!" and they magically "poof" into existence. Yet, you disingenuously point to airplanes as an example of a "created object". If you would use manufactured items as evidence of designer and then extrapolate to insist that natural items must also have a designer, you must show the process by which these natural items were "manufactured"."
Written by Liz

Dave's a happy, happy guy this evening. Partly because I have completely recovered now from Finals Syndrome. :o)
Thought I'd share some of the happiness with you by giving you the QOTM winners for April. (Be not in any way deceived by the fact that it is my duty to share the winners with you anyway as Quotemeister :o)

And so, we offer hearty congratulations to the Atheist Quote of the Month winner for April 1999 with eleven votes . . .
Next Elf Sternberg!
April winner announce post
"You'd like to think I'm all for rounding you up and having you shot, but that would take all the fun out of it. No, far more effective and entertaining is to create no martyrs and inflame no causes, but to slowly, effectively, teach your children to think for themselves, to expose them over and over to the duplicity of beliefs and make them realize that you, and the Moslem, and every other belief system, can't all be right, but you can all be wrong.
Written by Elf Sternberg

Nominated by Angel Arnel, seconded by Mickey Malkin

Anyway, as for the Atheist Quote of the Month Contest for March 1999, we didn't have a huge crop of quotes, but we had an exceptionally good crop -- so much so that the group could reach no consensus
. . . we have a
March winner anounce post
Let's have a round of applause for our March winners, scoring six votes each:

"Were I to be of the opinion that there was a God, and that that God was of the Christian ilk, it would be morally impossible to choose to be with a God who imposes unending torment on some people. To do so is to be complicit in their torture and as responsible for it as the one who imposes it. It'd be like knowing about Auschwitz yet continuing to support Hitler. If there is a Heaven, it's for those that can stomach it."

"You mean you LIKE the thought that you've been created especially to worship your creator, and after you die you'll honor it throughout eternity? That's your purpose in existence--to be a cosmic cheering squad for a deity so vain and insecure that it needs constant reassurance that it's supreme? No thank you!"

And Liz!!
"Sing along with Liz: (you know the tune)
Necrohippoflagellation, theists love to use it.
Even though the horse has died, they will still abuse it.
If they beat it long enough, they think you must enthuse it.
Necrohippoflagellation, theists can't refuse it."

Liz, you'll notice my name placed prominently at the top of your vote list. :o)
Congratulations to our winners this month! Congrats also to John Hattan, who placed a very close second, with 5 votes!!
(claps, cheers, whistles)

Okay, I'm on an EXTREMELY crappy server right now, so I have to make this brief. First of all, here are the QOTM winners for
(CRW note, for this reason I do not now have the announcement post)
February of 1999.
And with 11 votes, the Atheist QOTM is:
"This is typical of the way creationists think. They can't handle large, complicated issues, so they try and fit them into small boxes. When science fails to fit into a small box, they crank the handle and out pops God to console them."
Written by Elf Sternberg
Nominated by Brian King, seconded by Jessica Wolfman
This was just a few sparse votes ahead of the competition . . . but then, Elf also wrote the competition. :o) Congratulations to Elf

A couple of apologies to make, first of all. Your Quotemeister boo-booed in a couple places. As already indicated, quote 9 was a repeat of quote 3. Silly me. Also, I got my attributions wrong at one point: quote 7 was actually WRITTEN by Elf Sternberg, and Nominated by Hap C. Sorry, Elf.

Okay, so:

(drum roll)

With 10 votes, the Atheist Quote Of The Month for January 1999 is . . .
Mark K. Bilbo
January winner announce post
"The very need for a thing called "apologetics" is example of the weakness of the theistic argument. "God" always needs apologies. Rationalizations, explanations, equivocations, excuses. Science either works or falls flat on its face, gets up, and tries again. And does so until it *works."
Written by Mark K. Bilbo

Nominated by Mike, seconded by Michelle MALkin

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