I have to announce that this will be my last QOTM posting. I have decided that the Kalam Cosmological Argument is a sound one, and consequently have accepted the existence of an eternal, divine being who wishes me to use wine rather than grape juice for Communion.

Next year I'll come up with a better April Fool than that, I promise.

Anyway, as for the Atheist Quote of the Month Contest for March 1999, we didn't have a huge crop of quotes, but we had an exceptionally good crop -- so much so that the group could reach no consensus

. . . we have a THREE-WAY TIE!!!!

Let's have a round of applause for our March winners, scoring six votes each:

Therion!!

"Were I to be of the opinion that there was a God, and that that God was of the Christian ilk, it would be morally impossible to choose to be with a God who imposes unending torment on some people. To do so is to be complicit in their torture and as responsible for it as the one who imposes it. It'd be like knowing about Auschwitz yet continuing to support Hitler. If there is a Heaven, it's for those that can stomach it."

Aviva!!

"You mean you LIKE the thought that you've been created especially to worship your creator, and after you die you'll honor it throughout eternity? That's your purpose in existence--to be a cosmic cheering squad for a deity so vain and insecure that it needs constant reassurance that it's supreme? No thank you!"

And Liz!!

"Sing along with Liz: (you know the tune)
Hum-diddle-diddle-diddle-hum-diddle-i
Hum-diddle-diddle-diddle-hum-diddle-i
Necrohippoflagellation, theists love to use it.
Even though the horse has died, they will still abuse it.
If they beat it long enough, they think you must enthuse it.
Necrohippoflagellation, theists can't refuse it."

Liz, you'll notice my name placed prominently at the top of your vote list. :o) Congratulations to our winners this month! Congrats also to John Hattan, who placed a very close second, with 5 votes!! (claps, cheers, whistles)

Here is the rundown.

* * * * * *
AQOTM MARCH '99
--1--
> Atheist faith is the same faith that is exhibited when anyone calls
> bullshit by its rightful name.
Written by John Popelish

Nominated by Michael Moore, seconded by Frank Wustner

VOTES: 1
Michael Moore

* * * *
--2--
"You mean you LIKE the thought that you've been created especially to worship your creator, and after you die you'll honor it throughout eternity? That's your purpose in existence--to be a cosmic cheering squad for a deity so vain and insecure that it needs constant reassurance that it's supreme? No thank you!"

Written by Aviva

Nominated by Tony Livernois, seconded by Aaron Spielman

VOTES: 6
Pat Kiewicz
Mickey Malkin
Nemo
Tony Livernois
Sterling Crowe
Shyone

* * * *
--3--
"Although, honestly now, how can you look at the sprawling grandness of the cosmos and think that it was made for *you*. That's the height of arrogance."

Written by Jessica Wolfman

Nominated by Decimal, seconded by Frank Wustner

VOTES: 3
Tristan Styles
Paul The Wall
Frank Wustner

* * * *
--4--
"Sing along with Liz: (you know the tune)
Hum-diddle-diddle-diddle-hum-diddle-i
Hum-diddle-diddle-diddle-hum-diddle-i
Necrohippoflagellation, theists love to use it.
Even though the horse has died, they will still abuse it.
If they beat it long enough, they think you must enthuse it.
Necrohippoflagellation, theists can't refuse it."

Written by Liz

Nominated by Aaron, seconded by Petteri Sulonen

VOTES: 6
Dave Holloway
Chaos Theory
Keith Brannen
Nilone
Xalan
Landis D. Ragon

* * * *
--5--
(In response to:)
> If you say I am a theist, then would someone still continue to
> proselytize to me?
"Almost certainly. It is not sufficient that you believe in twaddle, you must believe in the CORRECT twaddle."

Written by Bill Felton

Nominated by Andy Longton, seconded by Shyone

VOTES: 3
Treelo
George Ricker
Mark House

* * * *
--6--
"Oh, you mean the Biblical Truth? Sorry, that merely enslaves the mind and chains the spirit, to restrict oneself into the endless yawn that is Christianity; the pathetic attempt to control the mind like so many cuttlefish surrounding a submarine..."

Written by The Ghost In The Machine

Nominated by Aaron, seconded by raven1

VOTES: 1
Andrew Bean

* * * *
--7--
"Why not masturbate instead [of praying]? It's basically the same as praying. It makes you feel good, it doesn't do any harm, it doesn't do any good, you can do it alone, or you can do it in groups!"

Written by John Hattan

Nominated by Shyone, seconded by Tristan Styles

VOTES: 5
Yang Hu
Scott Davidson
TM Stoudt
Mike Colby
Peter Kelly

* * * *
--8--
"Fear of retribution is something gorillas, chimpanzees, and Christians fear. Typical, Jim, you're not really "moral," you're just fearful. Most atheists have already acheived an equilibrium with their society and are interested in living with their fellow man, rather than robbing him blind."

Written by Elf Sternberg

Nominated by ErikC, seconded by Tom Murray

* * * *
--9--
"If the theists are correct, and there is a "god", then either "god" could have prevented the Holocaust and chose not to, in which case he is evil, or he could not prevent it, in which case he is useless."

Written by raven1

Nominated by Walter Brameld, seconded by The Ghost In The Machine

VOTES: 2
Sleepy
Aaron Spielman

* * * *
--10--
"Were I to be of the opinion that there was a God, and that that God was of the Christian ilk, it would be morally impossible to choose to be with a God who imposes unending torment on some people. To do so is to be complicit in their torture and as responsible for it as the one who imposes it. It'd be like knowing about Auschwitz yet continuing to support Hitler. If there is a Heaven, it's for those that can stomach it."

Written by Therion Ware

Nominated by Shell, seconded by John Hattan

VOTES: 6
Sir Sengir
Elf Sternberg
Bill Felton
Liz
Michelle Martin
John Hattan

* * * *
--11--
"If I'm writing a book on one of the sciences, other scientists can verify for themselves what is in the book. Either through numerous other sources, or by observing and doing the experiments themselves. Nothing in the bible can be recreated, verified, corroborated, validated, repeated, and from that, I conclude: believed."

Written by Kirk Bottomley

Nominated by raven1, seconded by Dave Holloway

* * * * * *