A couple of apologies to make, first of all. Your Quotemeister boo-booed in a couple places. As already indicated, quote 9 was a repeat of quote 3. Silly me. Also, I got my attributions wrong at one point: quote 7 was actually WRITTEN by Elf Sternberg, and Nominated by Hap C. Sorry, Elf.

Okay, so:
(drum roll)
With 10 votes, the Atheist Quote Of The Month for January 1999 is . . .

--1--
"The very need for a thing called "apologetics" is example of the weakness of the theistic argument. "God" always needs apologies. Rationalizations, explanations, equivocations, excuses. Science either works or falls flat on its face, gets up, and tries again. And does so until it *works."

Written by Mark K. Bilbo

Nominated by Mike, seconded by Michelle MALkin

Congratulations, Mark!
Quote 4 came in second with 7 votes, and 5 came in third with 6 votes.
A personal thanks to Fish for voting for number 10. :o)
Here again are the nominations and the voting record:

--1--
"The very need for a thing called "apologetics" is example of the weakness of the theistic argument. "God" always needs apologies. Rationalizations, explanations, equivocations, excuses. Science either works or falls flat on its face, gets up, and tries again. And does so until it *works."

Written by Mark K. Bilbo

Nominated by Mike, seconded by Michelle MALkin

VOTES:
raven1
Pat Kiewicz
Dave Holloway
Roy Fulmer
John Hattan
Jim Griffin
Keith Brannen
Brian King
Paul Koeck
Craig Hoyer

* * * *
--2--
(In response to:)
> Absolute power corrupts absolutely, applies to fallen human nature,
> not to our Creator.
"Sorry, but corruption appears to be the perfect word to describe the Christian bible god - a being who is so omni-conceited, immoral and depraved that he actually enjoys the smell of burning flesh, delights in blood sacrifice, has his own son tortured to death needlessly, and casts the vast majority of humanity in external torment. Next to the Christian bible god, Caligula looks like an Eagle scout."

Written by Doug Schiffer

Nominated by Michelle MALkin, seconded by Frank Wustner

VOTES:
David Shipley
PinkyMan

* * * *
--3--
"Because my dear, Religion is for people who do not believe in themselves....."

Written by "Twnzmomlv"

Nominated by Scott Davidson, seconded by maff91

VOTES:
Peter Kelly
Nicolas P. Demers
Andrew Bean
BeatMan
maff91

* * * *

--4--
"Can I just say how cute I think it is when a Christian thinks something is far- fetched?"

Written by Sterling Crowe

Nominated by Shell, seconded by Bill Felton

VOTES:
Tom Stoudt
John Popelish
Scott Davidson
Xalan
Nemo
G&G
Kamian

* * * *
--5--
(In response to:)
>God gave the Israelite certain cleanliness laws to keep them from
>disease that were far advanced of their time.
"Yet God, in His infinite wisdom, failed to give a single, simple cleanliness law that would have spared hundreds of thousands of deaths from the Black Plague alone: the commandment 'Thou Shalt Boil Thy Water.'"

Written by Wayne M. Delia

Nominated by Dave Holloway, seconded by Dirk Tebben

VOTES:
Elf
HRGruemm
Gregory Greenman
Steve Knight
mike
Nilone

* * * *
--6--
(In response to a theist saying we cannot comprehend God:)
"Your god is not an answer but rather an idea which introduces only more questions -- questions which cannot be answered. Instead one must throw their arms into the air and say "We cannot understand the nature of god." No answers at all I'm afraid, only fairytale wishes and dreams."

Written by Elroy Willis

Nominated by PinkyMan, seconded by Jessica Wolfman

VOTES:
Liz

* * * *
--7--
(In response to:)
>I think you should all keep it in the closet. Hetero & homo alike.
"Then DON'T wear a wedding ring. NEVER hold hands with your loved one in public. Certainly don't kiss your lover where someone else can see you. And above all else, keep those foul products of undeniable heterosexual coupling, children, in the cellar until they're old enough for you to deny you ever knew about them. If that's not a tenable position for you, stop asking other people to do it for you."

Written by Elf Sternberg

Nominated by Hap C., seconded by Darryl L. Pierce

VOTES:
Zerbinetta
Charles Ward

* * * *
--8--
"After reading the bible the poor christian becomes convinced that what is truth is actually lies and what is lies is actually truth."

Written by Alf Salte

Nominated by Elroy Willis, seconded by Jessica Wolfman

* * * *
--9--
SAME AS 3

* * * *
--10--
(In response to:)
>There are only two things in existance equally of size and equally
>infinity.......
"Yes: The universe, and theistic stupidity. And science is having doubts about the universe."

Written by Dave Holloway

Nominated by Fish, seconded by Frank Wustner

VOTES:
Fish

* * * *
--11--
"Your God must be an idiot. Either that, or he's constrained by forces more powerful than himself - in which case, screw Him, I'm going to pray to *those*."

Written by Bill Thacker

Nominated by Decimal, seconded by Frank Wustner

VOTES:
Frank Wustner
Elroy Willis

* * * *
--12--
(In response to:)
>Give it up and Try Jesus.
"You're more right than you know. 'Trying Jesus' is giving up. It's an acknowledgment that said person is giving up on ever having a truly happy life. A life wherein s/he can think for him/herself. A life not based upon guilt. That is what said person gives up when s/he 'tries jesus.'"

Written by Don Kresch

Nominated by Dave Holloway, seconded by wingedbeast

VOTES:
Chaos Theory
Peter Kirby

* * * *
--13--
(In response to a statement to the effect that Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God:)
"Oh, and if xtianity isn't a religion, then you wouldn't mind having it pay taxes, now would you?"

Written by Jessica Wolfman

Nominated by Nemo, seconded by KaL

* * * *
--14--
(In response to:)
>This is a dangerous message. You're basically basing this on
>"StarWars"! You can't make yourself better. Only God can do it.
"News. Your own superstition is no better than George Lucas' highly entertaining science fiction trilogy. And to Lucas' favor, at least the sequel _will_ be returning soon."

Written by Rev. Chuck

Nominated by Scott Davidson, seconded by Tezcatlipoca

VOTES:
Jessica Wolfman
Czar
Rev. Jerry
Yang Hu

* * * *
--15--
"Life is chemistry, and when I die my chemicals will do something that is not me."

Written by John Popelish

Nominated by Gully Foyle, seconded by Bill Felton

VOTES:
wingedbeast
Niall McAuley
John Patrick
Petteri Sulonen
Chris Nelson

* * * *
--16--
(In response to:)
>I don't judge myself to be nice, I let Jesus who lives in my heart do
>the judging.
"Is Jesus a heartworm then, or some kind of bacteria or virus?"

Written by Bob Wilson

Nominated by Paul Smith, seconded by Nemo

* * * *
--17--
(In response to:)
>Have you seen the wind?
"Yes. Check out some wind tunnel photographs. Moreover, I can detect what the wind does to other things. (Like trees and windmills.) The day I can harness God for electrical power, I'll have a use for him, too."

Written by Bill Thacker

Nominated by Nicolas P. Demers, seconded by Bill Felton

VOTES:
George Ricker
Tezcatlipoca
Steve Keppel-Jones
Darryl L. Pierce
Ed Stobenau

* * * *
--18--
"No, they (religionists) just *agree* with each other. Peer reviews involve actually doing something to test someone elses assertion(s). You could say that atheism is an on-going peer-review of religion -- religion has been/is being *tested* and found lacking in substance."

Written by erikc

Nominted by Nemo, seconded by Frank Wustner

* * * *

Quotemeister Dave