Quotemeister Dave Dave's a happy, happy guy this evening. Partly because I have completely recovered now from Finals Syndrome. :o)
Thought I'd share some of the happiness with you by giving you the QOTM winners for April. (Be not in any way deceived by the fact that it is my duty to share the winners with you anyway as Quotemeister :o)

And so, we offer hearty congratulations to the Atheist Quote of the Month winner for April 1999 with eleven votes . . .

Elf Sternberg!

--2--
"You'd like to think I'm all for rounding you up and having you shot, but that would take all the fun out of it. No, far more effective and entertaining is to create no martyrs and inflame no causes, but to slowly, effectively, teach your children to think for themselves, to expose them over and over to the duplicity of beliefs and make them realize that you, and the Moslem, and every other belief system, can't all be right, but you can all be wrong.

Written by Elf Sternberg

Nominated by Angel Arnel, seconded by Mickey Malkin

However, for second place we have a tie, eight votes a piece: quotes 10 and 13 . . . both written by Stephen Knight!
So congrats to Elf and Stephen! May the Holy Hooves shine upon you, or something to that effect! Following is the nomination and voting record for April.
AQOTM APRIL '98

--1--
"Believer understands nothing whatever. That's why he's a theist. It is merely cultural accident that he is a Christian rather than Moslem. Attempting to reason with him is like giving medicine to the dead -- messy and futile."
Written by Bill Felton

Nominated by Scott Davidson, seconded by Aaron Spielman

VOTES: 2
Sleepy
Cassandra

* * * *
--2--
"You'd like to think I'm all for rounding you up and having you shot, but that would take all the fun out of it. No, far more effective and entertaining is to create no martyrs and inflame no causes, but to slowly, effectively, teach your children to think for themselves, to expose them over and over to the duplicity of beliefs and make them realize that you, and the Moslem, and every other belief system, can't all be right, but you can all be wrong.

Written by Elf Sternberg

Nominated by Angel Arnel, seconded by Mickey Malkin

VOTES: 11
Tom Stoudt
Frank Wustner
Keith Brannen
Therion Ware
Kirk Bottomley
Andrew Bean
Brian King
Sen
Tukla
Ed Stoebenau
Charles Ward

* * * *
--3--
"Don't try to figure out the gordion knot of christian logic[tm], there's no rhyme nor reason and trying to resolve such will just lead you to a nice padded room and a jacket with straps and buckles."

Written by Stoney

Nominated by Tom Murray, seconded by Charles Ward

VOTES: 1
Tom Murray

* * * *
--4--
(In response to:)
>"Maybe not," I reply. Genesis is a book of poetry, not a textbook.
>The word "day" is a figure of speech meaning a period of time, not
>necessarily a twenty-four-hour day as we know it.
"How convenient. We can make any word mean anything we want? I hereby declare that the Bible is actually a physics textbook! Hmmm. If we can twist the Bible to fit science, why do we need the Bible in the first place?"

Written by Mr. Horrible

Nominated by Decimal, seconded by Aaron Spielman

VOTES: 1
Danny McLean

* * * *
--5--
(In response to something YJK wrote:)
"What in the name of nine million epileptic mimes are you talking about?"

Written by Dotcom

Nominated by Landis D. Ragon, seconded by Scott (and/or Janet) Storm

VOTES: 2
Dave Holloway
Landis Ragon

* * * *
--6--
"So you can see that there is a problem here. Anybody can claim to be a christian. But how do you tell a "real christian" from a fake one? Love, you say? Let me tell you something, my friend -- one does not need a superpower to be good and kind to others. It comes from within."

Written by Danny Mac

Nominated by Aaron Speilman, seconded by Mickey Malkin

VOTES: 3
Liz
Wingedbeast
Elroy Willis

* * * *
--7--
"Evidently theism is the philosophical equivalent of wetting yourself."

Written by who?

Nominated by Nemo, seconded by Stoney

VOTES: 2
Elf Sternberg
William Harriss

* * * *
--8--
"Jesus is a long-rotted carcass. Shit, even JC realized there is no 'God' while he was pinned to a stick -- that's why he whined about being forsaken. Prior to a fat NOTHING happening to save him, he was convinced that a magic space pixie would rescue him from his plight; but after playing "nail my wrists and call me INRI" for nine hours he was struck with the distinct impression that there wasn't anyone there to help his hallucinating shyster ass."

Written by Styx

Nominated by Raven1, seconded by Fish

VOTES: 4
Treelo
Michelle Martin
raven1
Carin

* * * *
--9--
"But it goes to show ya, that there's a sucker born-again every minute."

Written by dsg5

Nominated by Scott Davidson, seconded by Nemo

VOTES: 4
Mickey Malkin
Michael Moore
Scott Davidson
Peter Kirby

* * * *
--10--
"Sand is to an Ostrich what the bible is to christians."

Written by Stephen Knight

Nominated by Aaron Spielman, seconded by The Central Scrutinizer

VOTES: 8
Kalle Helenius
Mark House
Xalan
Mike Colby
Erin
Fritz
Czar
Angel Arnal

* * * *
--11--
"Now you still have to deal with the issue at hand- god's immorality. If you find it immoral that us puny humans, who probably could never realistically rid the world of abortions, do not attempt to rid the world of abortion, then you should find it infinitely more immoral that an omnipotent god, who could stop abortion with a snap of his omnipotent fingers, does nothing."

Written by B
Nominated by Randy Day, seconded by Dave Holloway

VOTES: 1
John Patrick

* * * *
--12--
"If someone says, "I'm a christian, and I believe in the sanctity of life." *That* would be contradictory."

Written by dotcom

Nominated by Shyone, seconded by Stoney

* * * *
--13--
(In response to:)
>if there is a God (and hypothetically) you could ask 'it' anything,
>what would you ask?
"Explain to me why, when I see a broken child in a wheelchair, it breaks my heart and not yours?"

Written by Stephen Knight

Nominated by Martin Schlottmann, seconded by Aaron Spielman

VOTES: 8
Niall McAuley
Yang Hu
George Ricker
Kevin Klapstein
Martin Schlottmann
Dotcom
John Hattan
Paul the Wall

* * * *
--14--
"Science can no more replace religion than antibiotics can replace leeches. Oh, wait..."

Written by Elf Sternberg

Nominated by Colin Day, seconded by Frank Wustner

VOTES: 4
Shyone
Eric
John Mayne
Nemo

Quotemeister Dave