Movie Ads and Why They Suck

A Rant by J.D.T.

I hate movie ads. I don't mind movie previews. That's to be expected. They are enticing us to come back and see more movies. I'm all for that. However, about a year ago I noticed a disturbing trend in some of the local theatres. Now along with movie previews, I am being forced to watch all sorts of non-movie related ads. Blue jeans, candy bars, home mortage lendors, local restraunts, hotels, motels, car dealerships, construction companies, churches, craft stores, convenience stores and more. Sometimes movie start times are actually 15 minutes later than what is advertised! This is unacceptable.

Don't get me wrong, if the theatre wants to advertise local businesses on the big screen before the advertised start time, I don't have a problem with it. However, if the movie was advertised at 1:00 PM, I don't want to be watching car commercials after that time. I think we have the right to say we do not want to be forced to watch these meaningless commercials. The theatre owners are saying "But you watch commercials at home on TV! This is no different!" I beg to differ. I don't mind them at home on the TV. The TV is free and they need to advertise to stay in business. It's the least we can do after watching all those shows for free. But like I said above, in the theatre, I paid to be there!

I do not care to watch some idiot being a human boombox while dancing against a bright colored background all in an attempt to sell some candy bars. What the hell does that have to do with candy bars anyway?

I do not care to see, nor do I believe Celine Dion is cruising across The Great American Desert in the newest Chrysler singing her annoying songs at the top of her voice. Think about it, the woman has a $100 million contract in Las Vegas and she was a multi-millionaire before that. Do you really think she is driving a $30,000 Chrysler? You do? I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you.

So what is acceptable? I have a few guidelines I think that should be followed.

1. Only movie previews should be shown.
   
2. Movie previews should run no later than 10 mintues past the advertised start time, 10 is ok, 5-7 is better.
   
3. There is no need to show a 90 second cartoon that shows hot dogs, candy bars and popcorn dancing around together that ends with the message "Enjoy the Show!" Why waste 90 seconds of my life? 5-10 seconds should suffice.
   
4. Same goes for the "No Cell Phones" message. Just gives us a screenshot that says to turn the phones off or to vibrate. Those cutsie cartoons that show the guy's phone going off in the middle of the movie piss me off. Not only have you wasted another 60 seconds of my life, you managed to add the sound of a ringing cellphone, the sounds that instantly pisses me off when I hear it inside the theatre. Cartoon or not, I don't care! It pisses me off.
   

I personally have gotten to the point where I have placed my own personal embargo on all products that are shown after the advertised start time. I urge you to do the same.