Lines from the movie...
What would you do if you had a million dollars? I tell you what I'd do man; two chicks at the same time man.
If you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your a, pretty boy over there, Brain. Why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair.
Congigal visists? Not that I know of. A minimum secrutiy prision is no picknic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is, kick someone's ass the first day or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be alright.
When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well does anyone ever say to you sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays? Shit no man, I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that man.
We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically show that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.
Are you any realation to the pop singer? No, it's just a conincidence. Because, I'll be honest with ya, I love his music. I do, I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings when a man loves a woman.
You're working at Innitech 'cause that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her there'd be no janitors because no one would clean shit up if they had $1,000,000.
Shit we should be so lucky, do you know they have conjugal visits there? Really? Yes. Shit, I'm a free man and I haven't had a conjugal visit in 6 months.
You have to interview with this consultant. They call them efficiency experts. But what you're really doing is interviewing for your own job.
Samir at beginning of the movie swearing in his car.
What, what would ya say, ya do here? Well look, I already told you, I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you undersand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?
If you could just go ahead and make sure you do that from now on that would be great.
Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton. You know there's nothing wrong with that name. There was, nothing wrong with it, until I was about 12 years old and that no talent ass clown became famous and started winning grammys. Well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michaell. No way, why should I change, he's the one who sucks.
(phone rings) Peter Gibbins... yes... I have the memo.
Milton rambling on the phone while Peter tries to leave work early.
Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately. I wouldn't say I've been missing it Bob.
Uh oh, looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.
Corporate accounts payable Nina speaking... Just a moment.
This thing is lucky I'm not armed. Piece of shit.
Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days I'll just kick this piece of shit out the window.
PC loadletter, WTF does that mean?
Piece of shit.
We get caught laundering money, we're not going to white color resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to Federal pound me in the ass prison.
Michael rapping in the car.
Did you see, the memo about this?
He represents all that is soulless and wrong!
Do you have my stapler?