MEMORY LANE - My area to discuss my mental journeys into the past; considering my age, some journeys are VERY long

"Industrial Disease" by Dire Straits… (The setup for this memory has been edited to prohibit a bad trip down memory lane) ... I was therefore compelled to crank up "Industrial Disease", never mind that it was 7:30 am. I was taken back to circa 1982 when my brother used to crank it up. That was one of the few things musical we agreed on. (Otherwise it was Stereo Wars, when he liked Bruce, yes The Boss, which I hated, and I liked Rush, still do actually). I’m sure Mom still hates them both……..

Remember the Dukes of Hazzard (or the Dorks of Hasbro as my brother and I used to call them). We were driving to go shopping, and at the weigh station there were several DOT cops standing out there talking. One of them was wearing a hat that looked like Rosco P Coltrane's. Cue cue cue, I love it, I love it, I love it! I laughed hysterically as the flashbacks hit me. Oh the girlie crush I had on John Schneider!!!! As if that wasn't enough, we went into a hobby shop and guess what I saw. A die cast model of the General Lee. That's when I really laughed! I was convinced I was in a nightmare and was worried about what I would see next, Boss Hogg, perhaps!

"You wanted the best, you got the best, the hottest band in the world, KISS!" Sound familiar? Well it sure does to me. My brother, cousins and I used to paint that wonderful KISS symbol on everything! We loved them. I'm not talking about the mid-80's KISS (although they were great when I saw them in 86), I'm talking about the mid-70s kick-ass stuff. I recently bought the Digitally Remastered CDs Love Gun and Destroyer, and boy do they sound better than our old 8 tracks!!! This morning I was Shout-ing It Out Loud on the way to work and my mind went a wanderin'. I remember how cool I thought Space Ace was (and still do, by the way, Mr Frehley!) and I also seem to remember my friend Tina and I both wanted to change our names to Beth! We even bought a plastic model van kit and tried to put the large Destroyer decal on the side, but the damn thing ripped. I'm so thankful our Mom's cool and she didn't freak out about our KISS fanaticism like the Moms in the film Detroit Rock City!

Ewan McGregor has been in quite a few films in the last few years, including Star Wars Episodes I & II. He's cool. Well, I remember a much younger Ewan in an ITV series called Lipstick On Your Collar in 1993. He sang, he danced, he wowed. It was just after I moved to England (was gonna goof around for 6 months and ended up staying 8 years, but that's another story...) and was staying with my aunt who had a beautiful house in the East Sussex countryside. Those were some lovely and crazy times. She's nutty like me, you might conclude it runs in the family.... Anyhow, I really looked forward to my weekly dose of Ewan and his boyish good looks.

Cat lovers read something else... You have been warned! Years ago, my brother took our Mom's car on a little road trip. He drove 350 miles to Iowa City for orientation (I think). On the way back home, he drove through a Hardee's (fast food for those of you that don't know) and they were laughing at him and saying, "Nice cat!" Well, he thought it was just an "in joke" with them and went on his way. His next stop was for gas, and when he went in to pay, he got much the same reaction from the gas station staff as he did the Hardee's staff. He looked, and lo and behold, Mom's cat Christopher was dangling out from the bottom of the car. He drove the rest of the way home, but by the time he got back to town, the smell was so bad, he had to stop at the car wash and spray the rest of kitty out from where he got stuck before that fateful trip. Needless to say, the running joke in the family for years was: after 700 miles, be sure to check the oil and rotate the cat!!!!!!!!

I was there! Summer 1987. Veterans Auditorium. Des Moines, Iowa. Motley Crue and Whitesnake. Tommy Lee in the spinning drum cage. It was in-f***ing-credible!

It seemed like a good idea at the time... At night, if you shine a flashlight in a pigeon's face, it becomes stunned and you can grab it. When our cousins were babysitting my brother and I, we climbed up into the corn bins, grabbed 5 of them and brought them into the house so they could be kind of like pets. There were feathers and pigeon crap EVERYWHERE. I don't understand why Mom is still angry about it?!